The Barflies Message Board

Welcome to the Barflies Group Message Board. We encourage all alcoholics to share their experience, strength and hope in a way that is conducive to AA’s primary purpose, which is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

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fear - posted by Jules at 01/29 06:49AM I woke up this morning and couldn't sleep anymore. After lying in bed for about 30 min, I got up. The dog was going nuts in the kitchen and the fire alarm had that intermittent beeping. The battery was dying. Thinking Stevie just needed to go out badly, I let her out. She came back in after a few minutes and still wouldn't settle down. I rarely see her like this unless she sees the leash and thinks Mike's taking her for a run. No one else is up. I kept asking her "what's wrong?" and let her back out. Suddenly, my mind starts to reel thinking maybe she smells an electrical fire breaking out in the attic. I go outside to the front of the house and look at the roof to see if it's smoking. There is no smoke. At this point, I'm pleading with her to tell me what's wrong like she's fucking Lassie. Now I can't settle down and keep thinking that something's wrong. There must be a reason I couldn't sleep, maybe because I have to wake everyone up to get out of the non-burning house. I can't help but think about the ol' trash can on fire in the driveway. A non-alcoholic would put the fire out and go to sleep. I can't shake this fear and had no where else to turn but the board this morning to spit this out. I'm trying not to wake up the husband and freak him out with my alcoholic fear. It's hard not to. I guess I pray:(

re: fear - posted by Gilly on 01/29 11:05AM Sorry, to hear about that but I understand. When I first got sober I was always in a state of "alert"-once it started, my adrenaline wouldn't stop. It didn't matter if the things that got me going were significant of not, shit someone in traffic could look at me funny. Since I didn't drink (which used to help), the only thing that would calm my down was sex. I used to drive up and down Airline Hwy all night looking for relief. I still get that feeling of alarm or impending emergency but today there are some other things I can do to help. Prayer & meditation help. Helping a drunk always works. Reading the big book always calms me down.

POST REPLY: Please submit your experience, strength and/or hope as it relates to the program of AA below.

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While we hope that all our guests share their experience as it relates to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, we remind everyone that the contents of these message strings are strictly personal opinions of the authors. When in doubt about the nature of statements made please consult the Big Book and other AA reference materials... our motto: "If its not in the book, it doesn't count." Thank you all for sharing.